Freakin Perfect
by kinqqbooluver
Summary: It's been four months since Edward left Bella, and on the day when she finally decides that she is ready to take on the world again, Jake breaks her heart (again). So what does she do? does she chase after him, or cry herself into a depression? No, she goes to a bar. (one-shot.)


**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight, or Bella, or this song, or Edward…yeah you get it…  
**

_**a/n: yeah , I know I said my other story was on hold cause I'm busy, and it is, because I am, but I heard this song and it just came to me….yeah. Still don't have a beta so sorry in advance for any misspelled words**_

song for the story:

watch?v=wcZ15hESOo8

**all of the clothes the characters are wearing for this story**:

_**please look at the clothes and listen to the music as you read!**_  
**  
**

* * *

**Bella's POV:**

As I pulled into the parking lot of some bar called 'the Crocodile' in some high end part of PA. I finally stopped to think _"am I really going through with this?"_ It's been four months since Edward left me for dead in the middle of the woods, (ok so maybe he _himself_ didn't injure me and leave me for dead, but it's the same difference so whatever). Four months since Sam found me on the forest floor, and brought me back, four months since Jake took care of me and nursed me back to health.

"  
Jake" I sighed aloud as I recalled the conversation that led me to the parking lot of this bar.  
_**  
**__**About two hours before  
**_  
"Hey Jake!" I called to him as he wheeled Billy into the house. They were over to watch the 'big game' but every game is the 'big game' in Charlie's book doesn't even matter.

"Hey bells" he responded with a smile, but it looked forced, and didn't reach his eyes, I simply wrote it off as wolf PMS and turned to Billy.

"Hey Billy, how are you?" I asked

"I'm fine Bells and you?" he asked with that same look and tone, the same one I had been getting ever since Edward broke up with me, that look of pity, and using that baby voice, as if I was a scared child that might run at the sight of real emotion, or like I'm a priceless doll that needs watching after 24/7. I hate it, I'm not a doll, and I'm certainly not a child, but whatever, I _did_ have a sort of breakdown for the first month so I guess I can't blame them.

"Amazing actually, I was even thinking about going over Emily's tonight while you and Charlie watch the game."

I beamed down at him, but he just gave me that same look, as if I'm faking my happiness. But today started weird, it was as if I just had a reality check when I woke up, I realized that while the Cullens may be immortal and will never grow old, I grow older every day, everyday I'm a step closer to my death, I need to stop dwelling over a boy, a boy who barely kissed me even!

So with that new thought in my mind, I jumped up, cleaned my already spot-less room, hoped in the shower and threw on a bright red tank top saying "_a true love story never ends_" a pair of black skinny jeans, black fuck-me pumps, and my England messenger bag. I even threw on some make-up just for the hell of it, might as well go all out eh?

"Well, uh, you have fun with that bells." Was the last thing he said to me before he wheeled himself to the living room, leaving me and Jake on the porch by ourselves.

"Uh, bells?" Jake asked, with a weird tone in his voice, one I'd never heard from him before. And even though I didn't know what that tone of voice was, I knew somehow, that my day is about to go from amazing to horrid.

"Yeah, Jake?" I said as cautiously as I could without him knowing.

"First what's up with the outfit?" he asked, just plain curiosity laced his voice.

"Oh, well, I just had an ephiany of sorts this morning, and I figured '_what the hell?' _ya know?" I said, suddenly happy about today, and forgetting all about my worries earlier.

"Well, um, that's cool I guess…" he trailed off.

"Jake what's going on?" I asked, the caution was back, along with his freaky tone of voice.

"Bells. Sam has ordered us to stay away from you—"

"what? Why? What did I do Jake?" I asked, feeling slightly panicky.

"I can't tell you why, but, this is the last time I can see you until he lifts the order. Sorry bells." He added before he turned to leave

"Jacob that's bullshit and you know it! I know just about everything about the pack, what is so important that I can't even know?!" my sadness bled quickly to anger as I spoke, I still hadn't left the porch, but Jake was already halfway across the street. The only thing he gave me was a quick "bye Bella, get your own life." Over his shoulder, he didn't even turn to look me in the eye, and just like that my heart broke all over again.

But this time, I won't cry, and scream, and I sure as hell won't chase him into the woods. No, no I'm going to a bar.

_*****__**back to present time***_

I looked at the bar, it seemed nice enough, one story, low ceilings, and _loud_. That's what I wanted, to be _loud and reckless_ for once in my all too boring life. No wolves looking at me as if I might break, and no vampires dictating what will be best for me, just a building full of living, breathing, warm, _humans._

"Yes I can do this." I said to myself, and after looking at myself one last time in the rearview mirror, I realized that I really could do this. I got out of the truck, tossed my hair around to give it that '_sexy bed head_ 'hair, and strutted my way up to the front door of that bar.  
_**  
Alice's POV:**_

_'Amazing, she's finally coming home.'_ I thought to myself, momentarily forgetting about my mind reader brother, said brother is currently giving me the universal 'wtf?' look. _'Don't worry, you'll see'_ I thought to him. I can't wait to finally see her again! Of course he said that we weren't supposed to make contact with her, and that her human mind would surely forget us. And of course, I was not to be keeping tabs on her, or her possible future, but hey, I can't control these things, they just come to me.

Things just hadn't been the same since Bella left us, it had been heart breaking, Rosalie and Emmett went on a vacation for two months, Esme went into a deep depression, and still has yet to speak to anyone, Edward just plays a darker version of Bella's lullaby, no longer is it light and calm, but not it is dark and unsettling. Even Carsile and Jasper were affected, jasper even more so, he blames himself for Bella leaving us. Carsile doesn't show it, but sometimes when we hunt, I get glimpses of him showing up at Bella's front door just to check on her. So she is obliviously still on his mind.  
it's a miracle that I even got us all out here tonight, we all look pretty good, but still, we look bad….does that make sense? Oh, whatever!

_**Bella's POV:  
**_

As soon as I stepped through the doors, I immediately smelled the booze from the bar, and the sweat of the dancers. The lights were dimmed to a low hue, the ceilings were low just like I thought, and there were people _everywhere. _People, cheering as the band on the stage played there song, before taking a break._**  
**_

I sauntered to the bar and ordered a sex on the beach, the bartender didn't even ask for my I.D I guess my outfit made it obvious that I'm of age. I looked around, taking in all the appearances, some people looked well off in clothes, and other people looked like they got dressed blind folded. There was one booth off to the corner with a group of _very_ attractive people, but my attention was focused on my drink as the bartender set it in front of me.

"Thank you." I said politely as I gave him a 20.

"Anytime, are you new here?" he asked

"yup." I responded, taking in his person. He was tall, maybe 6 even, he had blonde hair, and striking blue eyes, and he looked like he even worked out a bit. He was pretty _hot_ if I had to describe him in one word, he had that whole _'surfer boy_' aura going on.

"I'm Isabella, Izzy for short." I added. '_Why not have a new nickname; it's just for the night.' _I thought.

"Mike, Mike Newton." He said, stretching his hand out across the bar to shake mine.

"So are you going to sing?" he said as he nodded towards the stage

"excuse me?" _what?_

"Singing, every Friday the band has a singing contest for the crowd, winner gets an awesome T-shirt, gets to sing a song with the band, and they get their picture taken until next Friday."  
He grinned widely at me, I had been told my mom that I could sing, but she's my mom, she is supposed to say things like that.

"ummm.." _no._

What do you have to lose?

My dignity!

Blame it on the alcohol baby!

What?

Stumble around, and BOOM people will think you're drunk, plus you're all the way in PA in a bar. Where no one knows you. Take. This. Chance.

You're insane

I'm you buttercup we are the same person!

Whatever, fine, I'll do it.

"Sure, I'll sing." I said, after I had an internal war with myself.

"Great! C'mon, we gotta go get you set up!" Mike exclaimed.

_**Edward POV:**_

_'strawberries.' _ Was the first thought that registered when the bar door opened shortly after we sat down on a booth in the corner of the bar. I don't even know why I'm here; I made the worst mistake of my existence four months ago, not only that, I lied to my family about it. But that scent, it made me almost wants to turn my head and lock onto the source, but I couldn't, I _couldn't take the disappointment. 'Bella would never be in a place like this_.' I thought. But all of my efforts were pointless when I heard:

"oh, shit, Edward, it her! It's Bella, on the stage!" Emmett said low enough for us to hear, but not loud enough for the drunken humans to hear. That comment brought life into every undead person at our booth.

"Oh shit." A shocked Rosalie

"It's her." A shocked Jasper

"Oh my." An astonished Carsile

"my child!" said a Grief stricken Esme.

"Yup, so knew it! I love the shoes, when did she learn to walk in them?" a bubbly Alice

"dude, she…she is hot!" Emmett, said, right before he got smacked upside the head by his very upset mate.

"Shut up." Rosalie Growled.

_'Just look Edward, one peek'_ Alice's thoughts drifted over to me, and that broke it, the temptation was too much. I turned my head towards the stage and saw…

"Bella?" _opps, you said that one a little loudly bro, I think she heard you. _Emmett thought to me

"I think you're right Emmett…." I trailed off as my green eyes met with her brown ones.

_***Bella/Izzy POV***_

I walked behind mike sipping on my drink, when I felt eyes on me, it was to be expected since I'm on stage, but these felt as if they were boring into me. I heard my name, so low that if music wasn't playing, then I wouldn't have even heard it, but it was definitely there, and so were the unnaturally attractive people in the booth, the Cullens. Of course, cause I can't get smashed in peace, nope, gotta have some type of supernatural audience right? _Note my sarcasm.  
_But even though I _hated_ the fact that they were here, that _he_ was here, the one that made me feel worthless. I was happy, because they can see how much better I am without them, so _he _can see.

I looked Edward in the eye, for a good three seconds, before I allowed my eyes to sweep over them, taking in there appearances, it wasn't changed much, Emmett looking sporty in a pair of desert cargos and..A batman shirt. Alice looking perfect as always in a simple black short flowing' dress, Rosalie looking intimidating like normal in a fiery red one shoulder lace top, and wearing black leather jeans, jasper looking just like Emmett wearing grey cargo shorts, and a 'Black Veil Brides' shirt. _"Wouldn't have thought he listened to that stuff_"

I thought as I continued to look at the beings I once called my family. Esme, wearing a simple yet snug black dress, Carsile, who was in a sweater vest and black skinny jeans. And finally back to Edward, who was wearing a Bob Marley shirt and black skinny jeans along with black chucks, he even had on a pair of nerd glasses.

"_Wow, he's certainly changed his looks a bit, but as always, they still look __**fucking**__. Perfect." _I thought bitterly to myself. I still don't like the fact that they can look amazing forever, while everyone else in the room is bound to grow old and unattractive.

And just like that, I had my song.

"Mike." I called to him; he stopped talking to the band members and turned to talk to me.

"Yeah Izzy, what's up? You have your song?" he asked

"yup, tell them to put on 'fuckin' Perfect' by P!ink" I said, with a small secretive smile plastered on my face.

"Alrighty then, you're on in 15 seconds, want me to hold your drink? I gotta get back to the bar now, my break is over." He said, with a small from on his face. As if he thought he was letting me down.

"No, you've been great Mike, thanks" I said, and kissed him sweetly on the cheek before I sent him off. Once the drummer called to me saying I had five seconds lefts, I downed my drink, and stood next to the mic.

_**Edward POV:  
**_  
I nearly lost it when Bella kissed that got on the cheek, she shouldn't be kissing anybody! I don't know what she is wearing but they certainly aren't clothes, what happened to the baggy jeans, sneakers, and sweatshirts? When the boy that appeared to be the band's drummer stood next to Bella and in front of the microphone, I assumed the worst, and in a way, I got the worst…_  
_  
"Hi guys, we have a newbie here, Izzy Swan, and she gonna sing Fuckin' Perfect by Pink!" Bella took the stand and began to sing:

_Made a wrong turn once or twice_

_Dug my way out, blood and fire_

_Bad decisions, that's alright_

_Welcome to my silly life_

"Holy hell! Since when could Bella sing? And what's with the new nick name?" Emmett Exclaimed over to us, we could no longer speak normally, since the crowed started going berserk as soon as Bella uttered the first word.

"I'm not sure, but she's good." Rosalie said, nodding in apparition to the song she chose.

"what?!" she yelled when she saw us all staring at her, one can only imagine the looks of confusion on our faces, did Rosalie just complement Bella?

"Nothing Rosie, but, it's not like you really liked Bella, so it's just weird is all." Emmett explained.

"Ah, whatever. I'm going to the stage to get closer." She barely had the last word out before her, Alice, and Esme were out of the booth and heading towards the stage.

_Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood_

_Miss 'No way, it's all good'_

_It didn't slow me down._

_Mistaken, always second guessing_

_Underestimated, look I'm still around_

"Is she speaking for herself?!" I asked incredulously to jasper, seeing as how he can read her emotions, I figured he was best to talk too.

_Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel_

_Like you're less than fucking perfect_

_Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel_

_Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me_

_You're so mean when you talk_

_About yourself. You were wrong._

_Change the voices in your head_

_Make them like you instead._

"It seems that way, maybe not her herself, but maybe the things she has gone through and conquered, and the forces she has come too" he answered

So complicated,

_Look happy, You'll make it!_

_Filled with so much hatred_

_Such a tired game_

_It's enough, I've done all I could think of_

_Chased down all my demons_

_I've seen you do the same_

_(Ohh ohhhhhhh)_

_Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel_

_Like you're less than fucking perfect_

_Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel_

_Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me_

_The whole world's scared, so I swallow the fear_

_The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer_

_So cool in line and we try try try but we try too hard_

_And it's a waste of my time._

_Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere_

_They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair_

_We change ourselves and we do it all the time_

_Why do we do that, why do I do that (why do I do that)?_

_(Yeah!)_

_I'm Pretty, pretty, prettyyyyy!_

This was when I realized, after that verse, I realized she was talking to us, telling us that we were wrong, that I was wrong. She isn't some weak human that needs protection. And this was her telling us so; this was her telling us that she made it, that she is perfect in her own way and image. She no longer seeks the approval of others.

"_Bout time you got it copper head."_ What?

"_Alice? Of course, you saw this didn't you?" _I asked, furious that she didn't warn me, didn't want us.

_"The one and only. And why didn't you tell us what you did to her? How could you? We all loved her, and you leave her on the forest floor for dead? Oh, wait till Esme hears, your undead ass is grass." _She growled

"Alice!" I mentally cried, she can't tell them, they aren't ready for it yet!

"_No brother, I won't tell them, but it wasn't your place to make a __family__ decision!"_

"if you won't tell them then who will?" I asked confused as to who she could be talking about.

"_For someone who is so smart, you really are stupid."_ Was all she said before it went quiet

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel

_Like you're less than fucking perfect_

_Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel_

_Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me_

_(You're perfect, you're perfect)_

_Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel_

_Like you're less than fucking perfect._

_Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel_

_Like you're nothing, you are perfect to me._

The whole bar stood up, us included and gave _Izzy_ a big round of applause. She deserved it anyway, she gave one last bow to the crowd, thanking them, before she took her leave off of the stage, and headed straight for us.

_Straight for me.__  
__**  
Bella's/Izzy POV:**_

As I bowed for the last time, pride flowing through me, I looked down slightly and saw Alice, Esme, and Rosalie at the very front of the stage, still clapping. I gave them a tight lipped smile as I left the stage. Of course Alice and Esme tried to rush up to me, no doubt to congratulate me on my performance, but I waved them off. Rosalie hung back, looking doubtful, that sight almost made me laugh, but I couldn't, I was on a mission damn it.  
As I marched over to Edward, head held high, hips swaying, and looking every bit dangerous as Rosalie, but with the gracefulness of ballet dancer, I noticed that Esme, Rosalie, and Alice were behind me, all looking on curiously as to what I would do, all except for Alice, she was staring intently at Edward, probably speaking to him in her mind.

_'Ugh, glad that I'm blocked from him. That would have gotten annoying really quickly'_ I thought. Before I knew it, I was in front of Edward, gazing up into his forest green eyes, appearance wise, I can see why I fell for him, but then I remembered how he controlled me, making decisions for me, and I just stood by and let him do it. I swore right then and there, that would never happen to me again.

"Isabella—"he stared, but I cut him off, why should he be treated differently than the other people here? They call me Izzy, so he will keep up the charade.

"Izzy. Here, in this instant I am Izzy to you." I spat, it came out worse than I meant it too, but him calling me by my full name, knowing full well that I hate that, just brought on a flood on negative emotions that I felt were about to go past my boiling point.

"I apologize. _Izzy_ you have no idea how happy I am to see you, healthy, warm, and _alive_." He said with a smile, as if I accomplished something sooo great.

"Yeah no thanks to you, leaving me in the middle of the woods, after telling me how I want good bough for you and your family, after telling me that I was no more than a _pet_ to you, yes real gentlemanly Edward! Heh, you know I used to day dream about how I would find you again, purely by accident, in my late twenties and how I would walk up to you out of nowhere and slap the shit out of you. But then I realized that by my doing that, I would hurt myself more than I could ever hurt you." I laughed, but it was bitter, and humorless.

It didn't escape me ears, the collective gaps that came from the booth, "I guess they didn't know about our _breakup_ huh?" I asked a silly grin taking place on my face at his comfort.

"Bella! Why are you doing this?" he cried out to me, as if I broke _his_ heart all that time ago.

"Number one. It's Izzy, Edwin. Number two, it's simple, I just want them to know the truth, and I need close, I figured this would get it, seeing how I can't cause any bodily harm to you." I shrugged, as if it was no big deal

"what are you wearing _Izzy_?" he sneered my new name as if it were a bad luck charm.

"It's called clothes Edward." I said very slowly, as if I was talking to a child.  
It was then when Emmett and jasper jumped in.

"Hey Izzy, um you look great for starters, but, uhh, well, _canyoueverforgiveusforleavin gyou?" _Emmett rushed out. Looking sheepishly at the ground.

"Well thank you Emmett and I would love to do whatever you asked of me, if you can repeat it….slower." I asked

"oh, yeah right, of course." He said, then he took a breath and said "can you ever forgive us for leaving you?" he asked, this time, looking me in the eye, and I swear if he could be crying, he would have been, and that's what broke my resolve.

"Of course I forgive you all Emmett, even the ice queen" I grinned and he chuckled at hearing Rosalie's growl.

Then Jasper stepped up "Izzy, could you ever forgive me for attackin' you at your birthday party?" jasper asked, his accent just as strong as I remembered, if not stronger.

"Sure jasper, its mot like I blamed you in the first place, it's your most craved food source, I completely understand why you tried to go all terminator on my ass." I winked at him, letting him know he was totally forgiven, I even sealed it up with a hug, showing him, not only did I forgive him, but I trust him too. As we let go, I looked over to the table and saw the entire Cullen clan eyes on us, they all looked happy and apologetic, and the next ten minutes were filled with apologies, explanations(on Edwards part) and watery smiles followed by hugs.

"Izzy." I heard my 'name' being called and turned away from the Cullens to look at Edward; he looked as if he was in pain, as he motioned with his head to go outside. I walked ahead of him and out the door, not even two seconds later, Edward was out.

_**Edwards POV:  
**_

As I watched her give hugs to everyone, I slowly began to get jealous; everyone was receiving her love except for me. I should be the one getting her hugs, and love. Not the ones who left her (_**a/n: see what I did there?)**_**. ** I motioned for her to go outside with me and she graciously accepted. That was another thing, how was it she was able to walk in those human death traps, when just four short months ago, she was tripping over air?

"Isabella, can you ever forgive me?" I asked, I had no doubt that she would take me back, afte all, she did forgive the entire family.  
"no." she responded curtly.

"Pardon?" _did she just say no?_

"I know you heard me correctly. But I'll say it again: no." she responded while examining her nails.

"Why! You forgave everyone else! Why not me? _You belong to me!" _ I said between clenched teeth, but even I heard the barely contained anger in my voice.  
That was my downfall, anger, for hers rivaled mine on levels I didn't even know existed. Her eyes flashed dangerously and soon she was marching to me, not stopping until her chest touched mine, her eyes still flashing with anger as she spoke.

"Listen to me, and listen well, I belong to _no one_. Do you hear me Edward Anthony Cullen?! No one! I am not a pet, I am not your child, and I'm sure as _hell not your wife_, you have no claim over me what so ever!" she yelled, even in her state of anger she was magnificent, and she will be mine.

"_Edward"_ a cold voice growled behind me, I turned to see my entire family standing behind my mother, who had her hands on her hips, and looking every bit of a dangerous vampire as the volturi. I had never been frightened of Esme, but in that instance I was.

"She does not want you; you left her, for four months even! She has every right to reject you, come inside, and let her go back to her life that is what you wanted after all." I looked at my brothers and sisters, all looking belligerent with their arms crossed over their chest. I relooked that I would not win this fight. I looked back at Bella on find her in the process of getting in her death trap of a truck.

"Wait!" I called, but it was too late, she had already pulled out of the parking lot and was on her way to Forks.

"Let her go Edward, it doesn't end well for you if you go after her." Alice said calmly and she showed me a vision of me killing Bella, and the volturi killing me.

That's when it finally hit me... _I lost her…_

_**Bella's POV:**_

While Edward was busy trying to figure out what to do, whether or not he should listen to his family, I realized that its 11:30 in a Saturday night, Charlie would be home any time now. With that thought, I turned and left to go to my truck. I got in, and as soon as I was completely out of the parking lot, I heard

_"wait!"_ Edward. He finally got his ass handed to him.

I can finally move on now, like really move on, I got my closer, and now I can live again. Back in the high spirits I was in earlier, all happy and ready to face the world. I turned on the radio, just as my favorite song sang its last verse.

_Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel_

_Like you're less than fucking perfect_

_Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel_

_Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me_

_(You're perfect, you're perfect)_

_Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel_

_Like you're less than fucking perfect._

_Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel_

_Like you're nothing, you are perfect to me.  
_

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**what do you guys think?! too much? too little? if the link didnt work on the story, there up on my profile, so you can still get a good visual. _REVIEW PLEASEEE ._**


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